Things every father needs to teach his sons

Holidays are a great time for families to spend quality time together and to set up the year ahead. This year the bush fire crisis has dominated news media and is a humanitarian disaster of epic proportions. Our thoughts go out to all of those affected directly and indirectly. It cannot be overstated how big an impact the fires will have on communities for a long time to come.

This article is not however about the fires themselves, rather about families and remembering what is important over the longer term as lives are attempted to be rebuilt. We have discussed the tendency of media to have "gotcha" moments with some dignitary or other on holidays at the time of an emergency or a protester refusing to shake hands with that leader and the way the messaging gets distorted from what it ought to be into something else entirely. Prejudices run deep and can get in the way of sensible debate.

Mulling these things over for a few days, I thought I'd write a blog on things that I hope I can impart on my sons to be the best people they can be. I have started to flesh out each of the headings but have quite a way to go. The journey is more useful than the destination in this respect.

Be

1. Happiness is not material – the power of gratitude

2. That it’s ok not to be ok sometimes

3. Boys and girls are different and that’s ok too.

4. Integrity is precious, you can only trade it in once

5. Standing down and walking away is stronger than muscling up

6. Persistence comes well and truly before mastery – failure is feedback

7. Being kind to your mother matters and chivalry is not dead.

8. How to be socially competent with all walks of life.

9. How to talk to adults

10. How to include everyone in the club, the team, the workforce – empathy and awareness

Do

11. Actions have reactions (and sometimes consequences)

12. Do what you say you will do

13. You need to dream to achieve

14. Stop, check and reflect, the delight of mindfulness

15. Take responsibility

16. How to manage powerful emotions constructively

17. How to shave

18. How to drive

19. How to play sport the right way

20. Travel as a means to personal growth

Have

21. You don’t need more than 5 very good friends.

22. Financial literacy and how money works

23. Respect for women generally as well as men

24. Firm handshake and eye contact if in doubt, and try and match handshake pressure and what that means to the recipient

25. A trade or qualification is desirable